12th Fail – Well, I was not!

12th Fail – Well, I was not!

In a scenario reminiscent of Manoj Sharma in the movie '12th Fail,' I found myself in a similar situation, dreading the announcement of the UPSC final results. However, my story unfolds on the day of the Final Year Engineering results.

I was convinced that my roll number wouldn't grace the result sheet, marking my first failure in any final exams. The mere thought of this impending failure unleashed a torrent of anxiety, akin to a volcanic eruption in my mind.

My history with failure wasn't unfamiliar, having experienced a setback in the first term exams of 11th standard. Back then, transitioning from Kannada medium to English presented a unique challenge and an easy excuse!

Returning to the day of the ‘Microwaves & Radars’ paper during the final year of Engineering, my initial glance at the question paper sent a chill down my spine. I could only manage a few answers, and for a brief moment, I was in shock. However, a closer look revealed that those questions carry a total of 40 marks – the passing score. Gathering my composure, I meticulously answered those questions with the neatest handwriting and detailed illustrations, utilizing the entire three-hour duration.

The mental torture persisted, with expectations for a first-class result from my parents, friends, and acquaintances. Uncertainty loomed over me, and the prospect of breaking the news to my father, who battled heart ailments for a decade, weighed heavily on my mind.

On the day the results were announced, I reluctantly made my way to the college campus, where I sat under a tree, emotionless. As the result sheets were posted, the crowd eagerly swarmed towards them. I remained stationary, resigned to the belief that my number wouldn't be there. However, to my astonishment, a familiar number caught my eye – my roll number, listed under the coveted First Class category!

It took a while before the blank in my head was replaced with a wave of happiness. It felt like a miracle! It took a few more minutes to process the joy before I rushed to my father to share the news of my first-class success.

Reflecting on the entire ordeal, I realize that those two months of intense suffering and maintaining a balanced lifestyle were instrumental in preparing me for a unique purpose in life. I gave space to accommodate my overwhelming feelings, ensuring I didn't succumb to them or contemplate drastic measures.

These experiences, like the one I've shared, served as stepping stones towards discovering my life's purpose. Stay tuned as I soon recount my very first encounter with stillness!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Image courtesy : The screenshot from the internet.

 

#suswasaSpace #lifePurpose #stillness

29^th Jan 2024